Love Lost
by OoJessicaKnightoO
Summary: My first attempt at a Multi-Chapter Fic. Takes place in season 5 after Jess returns from Jury Duty. I will try to update quickly and I hope you all enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

He could feel his heart shattering in his chest and tears burning behind his eyes as he stared into her giant watery blue eyes. "Nick… Do you remember a few years ago, when you thought you had met your future self and he told you, that one day you were going to do something to me that I may not be able to forgive you for and I said that I'd forgive you, no matter what…?" He couldn't form any words, afraid to speak out loud, feeling the sob that was rising in his throat, so he just nodded. He had never felt such fear and regret in his entire life. He was about to lose her, he knew it, he could see it in her eyes. He was about to lose Jessica Day, his best friend, his sunshine in the rain, the love of his life. "I never thought I would say this, especially to you… I don't forgive you and I don't think I ever will. I'm moving out, Nick. Don't try to contact me. Ever. I'll be civil with you for the sake of CeCe and Schmidt's Wedding stuff, but after this is all over with, I never want to see you again."

Nick felt as though he had been hit by a freight train. As he blinked his burning eyes he felt a tear run down his cheek. "Jess, Please don't do this… You're everything to me, I can't lose you. You're my best friend _,_ Jessica please… I.. I lov…" Jess threw her hand up in the air, the gesture came out incredibly angry. "NO! Don't you dare say that to me, Nick Miller. You don't get to say that to me." He could hear the severe pain in her voice as she spoke. "You did the one thing I asked you NOT to do. I mean did I mean anything to you at all? Actually… you know what? I already know the answer to that… It's pretty obvious to me now, that you could put any woman in that bedroom and you will go after her. It's out of pure convenience for you isn't it? You've always been lazy, Why go out and find a woman when you have one right across the hall?"

Nick just started at her, pain coursing through his entire body. "Jessica, that's not true. You mean so much to me, I've never felt the way I feel about you about anyone in my entire life. Reagan was just there, Jess. I missed you so much and she was just… there." He let his shoulders fall in defeat and let his eyes drop to the floor. "Yeah, she was just there. In _MY_ bedroom. Not only did I show up 2 days early to surprise you, only to find you making out with _her_ right in front of our… _Your_ home, but you slept with her, in my bed. ONE thing, Nick. ONE fucking thing." He looked back up at her, fully expecting what he was about to see. She was staring at him with a icy stare that sent a shiver down his spine. "Falling in love with you was the biggest mistake I've ever made. Goodbye, Nick" And with that she stepped into her bedroom, slamming the door in Nick's face. That was the very last time that he ever saw her enter that room.

His mind couldn't stop replaying the words she had said to him two and a half months ago, right before she left for Jury Duty in Portland. She had tried to say it in a joking manner, but Nick could hear the nerves in her voice and feel the tension in her muscles as he held her in his arms, hugging her, for what he was now sure would be the last time. She pulled back slightly, looking up at him with the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen and a nervous smirk on her red pouty lips. She stepped up onto her toes so she could whisper in his ear without the other roommates hearing.

" _Promise me you won't go falling for the girl across the hall again, Miller."_

Nick felt his skin break out in goosebumps, feeling her hot breath on his skin.

" _I promise, Day."_

Nick somehow managed to make it into his bedroom and shut the door before his legs gave out from underneath him. He curled up onto the floor and let the sobs that he had been holding back for the past 45 minutes finally come out. After what felt like hours, he finally pulled himself onto his bed, stripping off his clothes as he went. He layed on his back staring at the ceiling until finally falling into a restless sleep. When he awoke the next day, She was gone. The only thing remaining in her room was her bed, still made up perfectly with her Flowery bedspread.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

It had been two months since Jess moved out of the loft. The worst Two months of Nick Miller's life. Since he had met Jess, he could never picture a day of his life without her in it, she had slowly become the single most important person in his life. Even after they had broken up, she was still there, she still tried to be the best friend that she could be to him even through all the awkwardness of their breakup. She was always there for him.

Now? Well, now that wasn't even an option for him. He had fucked things up so badly, that she, Jessica Day, the most forgiving person he had ever met, had told him that she would _never_ forgive him for what he had done. While he knows he deserves this, there is still a small part of him that feels like maybe he doesn't, the whole thing just feels… wrong.

He can't remember much of _that_ night, to be completely honest. He was having an absolutely awful night at work when Reagan had showed up. They had become fairly close since she started renting out Jess's room, but he never let himself get too close to her because of his promise to Jess. Sure, she was very clearly a beautiful woman and had shown him some signs of interest, but Nick was never one to break his promises, especially when it came to Jess.

Once he was finished with his shift, he grabbed two beers and two shots of whiskey and plopped down on the barstool next to Reagan, he slid one beer and one shot over and she gave him a grateful smile, as she too was having a terrible day. They both held up their shots and with a "Cheers" and a clink of their shot glasses, they both set off with one very clear intention and that was getting drunk, very, _very_ drunk.

The next thing he remembers, is waking up in just his boxers next to Reagan … In Jess's bed.

 _**Flashback**_

" _Morning, Nick!"_

" _Uhhh…"_

 _Reagan just looks at him with a very satisfied smile on her face._

" _I'm going to guess that means you had just as much fun as I did last night!"_

 _She laughs and Nick just feels like he wants to throw up._

" _Umm… Reagan. Did we…?"_

 _She laughs again and gives him a smug look that he kind of just wants to slap off her face, and he's never wanted to slap a woman before._

" _Oh, Nick. Don't be silly! There is NO WAY you could forget that."_

 _She winks at him and he needs to escape._

" _I uh.. I have to go. Schmidt, umm.. Yeah. See yah later."_

 _He shoots out of bed and heads for the door, praying there is no one on the other side to find him walking out of the room._

 _Sure enough, as soon as he steps out and quietly shuts the door, he turns towards his room to find CeCe standing right in front of him. The look on her face telling him that he may no longer be living by this time tomorrow._

" _What THE HELL did you do, Miller?"_

 _There is no way out of this one, he's just been caught sneaking out of his Ex-Girlfriend's room, that a different woman just so happens to be occupying right now, in just his boxers._

" _CeCe, I… I honestly don't remember anything from last night. We got really drunk at the bar, too drunk obviously and I…"_

" _You slept with another woman, in Jess's bed? MY best friend and YOUR ex-girlfriend's bed?"_

" _Look, CeCe…"_

" _Save it, Miller. I knew you were a serial screw up, but I honestly thought you were better than that. Do you even realize what you've done? Jess told me before she left for Portland that you two were finally getting back to normal again, she felt like she finally had you back. She told me that…"_

 _Nick had been staring at the floor in shame the entire time CeCe had been speaking to him, her pause made him look up at her. He was shocked to see the tears in her eyes._

" _What did she tell you, CeCe?"_

 _She gave him a sad smile before speaking._

" _Nothing…"_

 _She turned on her heels and stormed off towards Schmidt's room._

 _**End Flashback**_

That was exactly 2 weeks before Jess had come home to find him and Reagan in a very compromising situation in front of the loft. He didn't want the kiss to happen, he just wanted to apologize to her for being so cold to her after what had happened. He told her all about the promise that he made to Jess and that he was still in love with her. And before he knew what was happening she was leaning into him whispering something about moving on before crashing her lips against his.

At first, yes, he will admit that he kissed her back, feeling extremely vulnerable having just told her about the fact that he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend that he had been broken up with for almost 2 years, that was until that familiar sick feeling took over his entire body. He pushed Reagan away to tell her no, this is wrong, he can't do this when his heart so fully belongs to someone else, but before he could get the words out, he heard a car door slam and looked up to see _her…_ Jessica Day, standing 10 feet away from him, staring at him with tears filling her beautiful blue eyes before bolting into the loft without a word.

That is why Nick finds himself, once again, in the same spot in the middle of his bed, staring up the ceiling, forcing himself to relive that night over and over again. He's done this every night for the past two months before falling into a restless slumber, forcing himself to feel the pain of losing her because it's what he deserves. He deserves to be miserable and lonely because he fucked up the only good thing in his life, the only thing that ever made him truly happy.

Feeling tears prick his eyes, Nick turns over on his side, ready for another restless night, ready for dreams of big beautiful blue eyes, brunette curls and flawless porcelain skin that he'll never get the pleasure of seeing up close or touching again. Closing his eyes and sighing deeply, when suddenly there is a knock at the door. He's in no mood to deal with anyone right now, he never really is anymore.

"GO AWAY!"

He yells before turning on his other side towards the window. It's quiet for a minute or two and he thinks maybe the person that was knocking actually heeded his warning for once, no such luck. He hears his bedroom door creak open before shutting again, the person outside the door, now inside his bedroom.

"Nick, We need to talk."

"What do you want, Reagan?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

It had been two months since Jess had moved out of the loft. With her new job it wasn't hard to find a new apartment now that she was making enough money to be able to afford a place on her own. Sure she wasn't planning on moving out so abruptly, but after everything that had gone down there was absolutely no way she was staying in the loft, in _that_ bedroom.

She really did miss her roommates, though. She had never really lived on her own before and she never really thought about how utterly lonely it would be. She missed waking up on the weekends and walking out to the kitchen and being greeted by a smiling Schmidt and Winston, CeCe had also been added to the mix in the few months before she had left for Portland now that her and Schmidt were officially back together and engaged. She even found herself missing a certain grumpy turtle-faced roommate on occasion. After everything he had done, she couldn't believe it was possible to still miss him, but… she did, she really, r _eally_ did.

Jess had just arrived home after an incredibly stressful day at school. Dr. Foster was on her case all day about budget cuts and possibly having to cut some of the teachers. She seriously hated that man.

She had yet to unpack all of her belongings since moving in, well aware that it had been _two whole months_ since she moved in, but with the stress of work and helping CeCe pick out her wedding dress and running around looking at venues with her, she just hadn't had the time. After eating a little dinner, Jess decided it was finally time to unpack the rest of the boxes that lay strewn across her small apartment, cleaning and organizing always had a strange way of easing her stress after a long day.

After unpacking the rest of her living room and finally hanging up the adorable prints that she had purchased at the vintage antique shop a few blocks from her new place, smiling smugly to herself, impressed with her hanging and leveling skills, she walked into her bedroom to start on the boxes in the closet.

She had finally gotten to the last box and as she started to go through the items in the box, she realized why she had put this particular box in the very back corner of her closet. Inside the box she found a stack of photos, a navy blue hoodie and the heart that she's had since she was a little girl. The heart that once hung on her bedroom wall in the loft and had been moved to Nick's bedroom wall when they moved into his room together. Her vision began to blur and she stared at the heart in her hand, her mind wandering back to the look on Nick's face when he had come home from the bar to find this heart hanging on his, no _their_ bedroom wall.

 _**Flashback**_

" _Hey, Jess. I'm home. Where yah at?"_

 _Jess couldn't help the smile that spread across her face._

" _I'm in OUR bedroom, Nicholas!"_

 _She heard his footsteps coming down the hall as he approached the room._

" _Tadah!"_

 _Nick looked around the room, slight confusion etching his face._

" _What the hell did you do, Jessica?"_

 _He said with a slight chuckle._

" _Well, Nicholas… I just thought that since we're officially sharing a room now, that I could add some of my things. You know, so it's "our" room rather than just "your" room… Is… Is that okay?"_

 _Nick smiled at her, before noticing the medium sized heart that was now hanging from his wall._

" _Hey, that's the heart that you had hanging in your old room."_

 _His eyes sparkled as he looked over at her with a heart stopping smirk on his face._

" _Yeah, it is. I've had that since I was little girl, my grandmother gave it to me. She always told me to keep my heart to myself until I found someone worth sharing it with."_

 _Jess smiled up at him while walking towards him before wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing her face closer to his. His arms immediately wrapped around her waist as he pulled her close and smiled down at her._

" _Are you saying that I'm worth sharing your heart with, Jessica?"_

 _The look on his face made Jess's insides melt into a pathetic goo._

" _Mayyybe"_

 _He leaned his head even closer to hers, his lips touching hers as he spoke._

" _I love you Jess, I've never met anyone more worthy of sharing my heart with, you have no idea how happy it makes me that you chose me to share yours with."_

 _Jess grabbed roughly at the hair at the base of his neck, kissing him passionately, before pushing him towards to bed._

" _I love you too, Nick. So much"_

 _**End Flashback**_

Jess squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back the tears that she could feel forming. She set the heart aside before picking up the stack of photos, knowing she was walking into dangerous territory. The first few photos were of her and the guys when she had first moved in, them playing True American and hanging out at the bar. It wasn't lost on her that in all of them her and Nick were right next to each other, always touching in some way, whether it was his arm around her shoulders or waist, or her hugging one of his arms close to her body.

As she got further through the stack, she came across her favorite photo of her and Nick. It was before they were dating, before he had kissed her. It was of them at Clyde's sitting in a booth, his arm wrapped around her shoulders and her leaning heavily into his side. In the photo she's beaming at the camera while Nick is staring at her. How had she never noticed? The way he looked at her, the way he had always looked at her, she could practically see the love pouring out of his dark eyes.

Jess dropped the photos back in the box along with the other contents it held and shoved it back into the corner of her closest before slamming the door and falling onto her bed face first. Why did she miss him so much? He had lied to her, broken a promise to her. He didn't deserve to occupy any part of her thoughts, but since the day they had met, he always had and most likely always would.

She thought back to the night before she moved out, how she had told him that she would never forgive him and that she never wanted to see him again, realizing that she really hadn't let him speak his peace. Not that he deserved it, but she still couldn't help but wonder what he would have said if she let him say what he wanted. It's hard to tell by one simple conversation, but that Nick Miller sure did have a way with words when he really let himself feel real emotions.

Ten minutes later, Jess found herself behind the wheel of her car driving towards the loft. She had no idea what she was doing, but something inside her needed to see him, needed to hear what he had to say. As she pulled up to her old parking spot, she stepped out of the car and walked towards the building, stopping dead in her tracks as she saw another figure approaching the loft.

How could she have been so incredibly stupid? Nick had once told her that when someone was broken, they just stayed broken. He was a broken man and she didn't know why it had even crossed her mind to let him explain himself, he broke everything he touched and eventually he would do the same to the woman she watched enter the loft. Turning back towards her car, she sat down, started the ignition and headed back towards her apartment, feeling her heart shatter in her chest for the third time in the past two months.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"What do you want Reagan?"

Nick was shocked that she had the nerve to show up in his room at almost one in the morning, especially after the last time they spoke and he told her that everything that happened between them was a huge mistake, that he had never regretted anything more in his entire life.

"We need to talk, Nick."

"No, Reagan. I don't think we do. Nothing should have ever happened between us, I was drunk and if I'm being honest, I don't remember anything."

"See, Nick… I wasn't completely honest with you about that night. I tend to think I know what's best for people, and well… I guess sometimes I don't. I ran into Schmidt a few days ago and he told me about how Jess moved out and how miserable you are and I...well… I just had to come talk to you."

Nick turned over and sat up, facing her, suddenly feeling his anger and confusion increase immensely.

"Spit it out, Reagan!"

"Look, Nick… I never meant to hurt anyone, really. I thought I could help you, you know? I knew that you were still in love with Jess before you even told me, the way you talked about her, the sad little smile you'd get whenever you'd mention a happy memory about when you were together? Yeah, it was actually pretty pathetic…"

Nick was beyond angry, he was furious. Who did she think she was?

"How about instead of insulting me, you just get to the damn point already!"

Reagan flinched at his clipped tone.

"Ok…. We didn't have sex, Nick. I thought… Well, I thought that if you thought we had slept together, that maybe I could help you move on from her. I mean it's been two years, that's not healthy. You have to get over her sometime, it's so obviously never happening again."

Nick flinched at the thought, feeling that familiar sting in his heart.

"Thanks for the reminder! I accepted that a long time ago, Reagan. All I ever wanted for her, was to be truly happy and it wasn't with me, I know that… but I still had her in my life. Even just having her as my best friend is better than not having her in my life at all, now I have nothing thanks to you."

Reagan looked at him with sad eyes, but only feeling slightly remorseful.

"I just wanted to save you from getting your heart broken by that woman again. Nothing happened, actually. You were so drunk and you were walking around in your boxers, I ran into you on the way to the bathroom and you started going on and on about "Jess this and Jess that"... You actually started crying at one point, so I told you to go lay down in her bed, I was actually planning on seducing you but by the time I got back from the bathroom, you were passed out cold."

Nick had never been more angry at someone in his entire life, not even his father when he left him and his family for months on end. How could she do this? She was the reason that he lost his other half, the reason he had believed that he had fucked up beyond any sort of repair. Although he was happy that he now knew the truth about what really happened, Nick Miller was never great at controlling his anger.

"While I appreciate you finally telling me the truth, I've gotta be honest with you now… I think you're a selfish bitch and I never want to see you again. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LOFT!"

Nick yelled and stood up, one fist clenched at his side, the other pointing towards the door.

"Nick, I really am sorry…"

"It's a little late for that. GET. OUT."

Reagan spun around, leaving his room as quickly as her feet would take her, he heard the front door slam a few moments later, a sigh of relief passing his lips knowing that She-Devil was finally out of his home.

He slowly sat down on his bed, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. He had to talk to Jess, He had to let her know, but how? Would she even believe him? It all sounded so crazy and made up that even he had a hard time believing it. He had to try, though. No one was more worth trying for than Jessica Day.

He thought about calling her, but he felt that this was far too important to tell her over the phone, the only problem was, he had no idea where she lived. He had tried to get it out of CeCe more than a few times, but of course, being Jess's best friend, CeCe kept her promise as to not tell him.

Nick shot out of his bed and threw his door open with so much strength that it bounced off of the wall, swung back and hit him in the back of the head.

"OWW! DAMNIT!"

He heard footsteps running towards his room before a very disheveled and under dressed Schmidt appeared before him holding a baseball bat.

"Niiick! Are you okay?! Someone messin' with my boy? 'Cause you know, no one be messin' with my boy when Schmidty's around!"

Nick rolled his eyes while rubbing the bump forming on the back of his head.

"Damnit, Schmidt! Stop it with the "My Boy" crap, That's not a thing!"

CeCe showed up moments later, clad in Schmidt's Kimono.

"Schmidt! What the HELL is going on out here? You do realize that it's almost 2:30 in the morning and our ENGAGEMENT party is tomorrow, right?! Mister "Oh, I need exactly 8 hours of sleep every night or I am an absolute monster the next day!"

CeCe's Schmidt impression really was spot on. Nick chortled.

"Shut it, Miller! What is going on out here?!"

"CeCe, I need Jess's address. I have to talk to her."

Nick was truly terrified of CeCe, it had been that way pretty much since the moment he met her. The death glare she was giving him now, not easing any of that fear.

"Riiight… You really think I'm going to tell you after what you did? Hell no! The only reason you're still in my wedding is because Schmidt said that kicking you out was a deal-breaker."

"No, CeCe please! Reagan just came by and…"

CeCe scoffed at him, looking even more like she was going to murder him.

"HAH! _SHE_ was here?! Really, Nick? You're even more of an idiot than I thought you were…"

Nick wasn't sure what had come over him, CeCe scared the shit out of him, but he was desperate.

"CeCe, shut the hell up and listen to me, would yah?!"

His raised voice made CeCe noticeably flinch before she nodded her head, gesturing for him to go on.

"Reagan came by and told me what really happened that night. She lied, we didn't really sleep together, she thought by telling me that we did that it would somehow help me get over Jess, but…"

CeCe rolled her eyes.

"But you still kissed her, Nick. Jess saw you kissing her."

"Yeah, I did… well no… She actually kissed me first and yeah, at first I didn't stop her, but I didn't want it. I had actually just finished telling her that I was still in love with Jess…"

Nick's voice cracked and CeCe couldn't help but feel bad for the guy. She had always known that her Fiance's grumpy best friend was head-over-heels in love with her best friend.

"Ok, Miller. I'll tell you, but I swear to god if you hurt her again, I really will cut your balls off a put them in a jar this time!"

Schmidt shuddered as his Fiance' spoke to his best friend.

"She really will, Nick and I won't stop her. You already hurt Jess enough, I'll have to comply with my Indian Goddess, if she needs me to hold you down, I'll do it…"

"Shut up, Schmidt!"

Nick and CeCe said in unison.

Twenty minutes later after showering and getting dressed, Nick was on the road heading over to Jess's apartment, a mixture of fear and excitement running through his body. Ten Minutes later he arrived in front of her apartment building. He had no idea what was about to happen. It was 3:30 in the morning, but as he stepped out of his car and started walking towards the building, he noticed a light was on in her apartment.

He walked up to the door and took a deep breath before reaching up and knocking, once, twice, three times, letting his hand fall back to his side he waited a few moments before reaching up to knock again, just as his hand was about to reach the door it opened.

It had been two months since the last time he saw her and as always, she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. Her big blue eyes looking up at him in complete shock, almost knocking him right on his ass.

"What are you doing here, Nick?"

He heard her speak but he couldn't seem to get any words out. It had been so long since he had seen her and he just wanted take a moment to soak it in.

"Nick, It's 3:30 in the morning… Just go home."

She went to shut the door, Luckily at that moment Nick's brain finally decided to start working again, his hand shot up and stopped her.

"Jess, wait! I need to talk to you, I know it's late and this is crazy, but I… I just really need to talk to you. Please…"

Jess just stood there and stared at him for what felt like hours. Finally she stepped aside and opened the door.

"Ok, Nick. Let's talk…"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Ok, Nick. Let's talk."

Nick blew out a sigh of relief. He honestly expected her to slam the door in his face, screaming about how she never wanted to see him again. As he walked into her apartment, he let his eyes take in the sight. It was so… _Jess._ He loved everything about it. There was a small navy blue vintage looking sofa in the middle of her living room with two small matching vintage chairs on either side, a distressed looking white coffee table placed in front of the sofa with a small vase filled with colorful flowers resting on top.

A small flat screen t.v was placed on an entertainment center that matched her coffee table perfectly and as his eyes rose to the picture placed on the wall above her television, he couldn't help the small smile that played upon his lips. It was a blown up picture framed in a beautiful silver picture frame of Jess, Schmidt, Winston, CeCe, Coach and Nick all sitting together on the leather brown sofa that was still currently sitting in the loft. Everyone had giant smiles plastered across their faces except for Nick, well he might actually be smiling but he couldn't tell due to the picture of a turtle's head that Jess had placed over his face. If he had to guess, though, he definitely had a big smile on his face because that photo was taken while he and Jess were still together, still happy.

As Jess shut the door and turned back towards Nick, she noticed him looking at the photo she had placed over her television of her, CeCe and all the roommates. It was one of her favorite photos of all of them together, so she had it blown up and framed in a beautiful silver frame that her mother had given her years ago. The photo was taken in the loft while her and Nick were still together and everyone was smiling and happy. Nick had his arms wrapped firmly around her waist. He looked good in that photo, _too good._ Which is why Jess had cut out a picture of a turtle's face that she found in one of the National Geographic's she had lying around and put it over his face. His _stupid handsome_ _face._..

"Wow, I look even more like a turtle than I thought!"

Nick said with a light chuckle, an attempt to lighten the mood. Jess didn't flinch, just walked towards the sofa and sat down, motioning for Nick to follow. Nick sat down slowly, feeling the electricity flowing between them, he hadn't been this close to her in months. He could tell by the way she was nervously tucking her hair behind her ears and picking at her nails that she was most likely feeling it too. He took a deep breath before locking eyes with her.

"Jess, I…."

"What are you doing here, Nick?"

Her voice was stern but he also detected a hint of sadness.

"I needed to talk to you, Jess. It was something that couldn't be said over the phone and you probably wouldn't have answered any way…"

"You're right. I wouldn't have."

Nick gulped loudly, looking down at his shaking hands before looking back up into her beautiful, but incredibly angry looking eyes.

"Ok, I'm just going to get right to the point here. I can tell that you obviously don't want me here but this is important. Jess, I never slept with Reagan. She lied to me, for some reason she thought by telling me that we did that it would help me get over you, but…"

Jess stood up suddenly, almost knocking over the coffee table in front of them. She was shaking with anger and frustration. She couldn't believe he would drive all the way over here just to lie to her face _again._

"GET OUT NICK!"

Nick stood up, hurt and shock plastered all over his face. He stepped closer to Jess in an attempt to calm her down, but she practically leaped away from him.

"Jess, what…"

He saw her tiny frame shaking with anger and sadness, her eyes filling with tears.

"Why would you do this to me, Nick?! Once upon a time you actually cared about me, or so I thought. I've had enough. You're the ONE person I thought I could always count on, the ONE person I thought would always be honest with me…"

A sob escaped her quivering lips and she fought for air. Nick felt his own eyes fill with tears at the sight of her. He had never seen her so upset and it was all because of him. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and hold her until she calmed down.

Jess hugged her arms around her stomach, shutting her eyes tightly as tears leaked down her cheeks. She took deep breaths in and out, trying to keep her emotions in check. As she finally got her bearings back, she opened her eyes and locked them with his, slightly surprised by the tears she saw forming in his deep brown eyes.

"Why are you lying to me, Nick?"

Her voice sounded so small and weak and it broke Nick's heart just a little more.

"Jess, what are you talking about? I'm not lying to you…"

"I SAW HER NICK! I came by the loft earlier tonight because for some crazy reason I thought that I missed you. All I wanted was to hear your voice, I wanted to hear what you had to say to me because I realized that I never really let you explain yourself, not that you really deserved to, but damn it, Nick! I missed you! You were my best friend and I finally felt like I had you back before I left… Now I have no one. CeCe is always with Schmidt and Winston is so busy with work all the time… I just…"

Jess felt her knees give out underneath her as she sunk to the ground, putting her head between her legs and sobbing uncontrollably. She had never felt so broken and alone in her entire life. Suddenly she felt two strong arms wrap around her body as Nick lifted her into his lap, burying his face in her hair, kissing the top of her head and holding her tightly as she buried her face in his chest, soaking his shirt with her tears. As much as she wanted to fight him, it was exactly what she needed in that moment.

"Jess, Reagan was over earlier tonight because she came to tell me what really happened. We didn't have sex, but she made me think we did and I believed her, because in typical Nick Miller fashion, I got way too drunk and I blacked out. She found me in the hall when I was leaving the bathroom and I was upset because I missed you, I started crying so she told me to go lay in your bed. I woke up next to her but NOTHING happened, Jess. I _cried_ Jess, because I missed you so much."

He felt Jess's muscles tense up, but he didn't loosen his grip, he wanted to hold her and be there for her, he knew she was still mad at him but he needed to show her that she wasn't alone, he was there and he always would be.

"And that kiss…"

He felt her flinch in his arms, but still kept his strong hold on her.

"She kissed me, Jess. I didn't want it to happen, but I did kiss her back. I was feeling really vulnerable after just confessing that even after two years, I'm still in love with my beautiful ex-girlfriend that used to live across the hall from me."

Jess lifted her head from his chest and looked into his eyes and saw nothing but pure honesty and love. She placed her hand on his chest and took a moment to just look at him up close for the first time in two years. She knew he was telling her the truth and that he had suffered just as much as she had in the past two months. Being blackout drunk was a pretty lousy excuse, but she knew Nick and she knew that it was how he dealt with things when he was upset. She also knew that he would never do anything like to her, coherent or not.

Nick took his arms from around her tiny waist and placed his hands on her face, wiping away her tears. He looked deep into her eyes and he could see it, he could see that somewhere deep down, she still loved him too. He felt her tiny hands wrap around his wrists, gently squeezing them.

"Jess, I am so sorry. I've been living in hell for the past few months. If you still don't forgive me, I totally understand. This all just sounds so crazy and I'm an idiot, I know that. But, I just miss you so much, Jess… I…"

Jess squeezed his wrists harder this time before a small smile appeared on that gorgeous face of hers.

"I forgive you, Nick."

She whispered as she slowly leaned in, gently kissing his lips before pulling back to see his reaction. She couldn't help but giggle at the adorable look on his face. His reactions to her always amazed her, she never really thought that she was anything special, but Nick Miller never made her feel anything short of amazing. The smile that erupted on his face made her heart do flips in her chest.

He crushed her body into his, hugging her tightly while burying his head in her coconut scented hair once again. He couldn't believe that she forgave him but she kissed him, _she_ kissed _him!_ He lifted his head from her hair and stared deeply into her eyes before taking her mouth with his once again.

He felt her shift so she was now straddling him, good god, this is something he thought he would never get to experience again. She affected every single nerve in his body and it was exhilarating. He felt her tongue against his lips and happily granted her access, gently massaging her tongue with his own.

Jess could feel Nick's hardness pressing against her center as she ground her body against him, making him moan loudly into her mouth. She could feel her self control waning as his hands traveled down her back and grabbed her ass, gently squeezing making her throw her head back with breathy moan, his lips now traveling down her neck.

"God, Jess…" He whispered hotly against the skin of her neck, making her eyes

roll into the back of her head.

"You have no idea what you do to me."

"Uhh" Jess moaned, head still thrown back in pure ecstasy "Tell me, Nick… Tell me what I do to you!"

Nick was just about to speak, when the sound of his phone broke them out of their heavenly bubble. He dropped his head to Jess's collarbone, huffing in pure annoyance before reaching into his pocket and grabbing his phone. He lifted his head to meet Jess' eyes, she was flushed and breathing heavily. He had never seen her look more beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to pick up where they had left off, but as his phone continued to ring, he decided it was best to stop.

"It's Schmidt…" He looked over at the clock below her t.v and realized that it was now almost 6 am. Time really does fly when you're having fun. He looked back at Jess, her eyes shining and a smile on her beautiful face.

"As much as I would absolutely love to keep this train rolling…" she said with an exaggerated wink, _god he missed her._ "You should probably answer that, you know how Schmidt gets when he can't get a hold you. Give him another half an hour and he'll have Winston and his Cop buddies out looking for you."

They both chuckled as they continued to stare into each other's eyes, both happier than they had been in over 2 years. Jess slowly started to climb off Nick's lap and stood up, holding her hand out to him.

"C'mon, Miller. We don't want you to end up on the missing person's list"

He grabbed her hand and stood up, once again taking her in his arms, not able to stop touching her now that he was allowed again. He kissed her cheek lightly before letting his arms fall to his sides.

"I think I'll just head home, let you get some sleep. Look, Jess… What almost happened there… I wanted it, believe me, I _really_ wanted it. But… I don't wanna mess this up again, Jess. I've wanted you back since the second we decided to break up and I really want to do things right this time. As much as I hate the fact that you don't live in the loft anymore, I think it's actually good for us, as a couple I mean…"

Jess looked up at him with a mischievous look on her face, raising an eyebrow at him. Wanting nothing more than to call Nick her boyfriend again, she decided to mess with him, just a little.

"Are we a couple again, Nick?"

Nick could feel his face heat up with embarrassment, god he was an idiot. They hadn't even talked about it, what the hell was he thinking?!

"I uh...I just…"

Jess suddenly leaped towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck before kissing his cheek, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

"You've gotta ask a girl for that, Nicholas."

She was messing with him, _oh thank god._

Nick got down on one knee, grabbing her left hand, laughing at the sight, as Jess's giant eyes somehow became bigger.

"Jessica Day, You are by far the most amazing, beautiful, smart, funny and adorably nerdy woman I have ever met in my entire life and nothing in this world would make me happier than to call you my girlfriend, so… Can I?"

Jess tackled him to the ground in excitement, causing him fall flat on his back with her on top of him. He couldn't help but chuckle at the goofy grin on her face and the twinkle in her eyes.

"Yes, Nick Miller! I would LOVE for you to call me your girlfriend!" She leaned down to kiss him sweetly.

Nick felt the lump in his throat and the pain in his heart leave him immediately, he finally had his other half back and it felt amazing. They both stood up once again and Nick took Jess's hands in his.

"This is going to work this time, Jess. I love you so much and like I was saying… as much as I miss you living in the loft, I think it'll be good for us, you know? To have our own space, less pressure. And when we finally do decide to take that next step, it'll just be us, no distractions, just me and you living in our own place, together. I mean, we'll obviously spend the night together a lot" He wiggled his eyebrows, making Jess laugh heartily.

"You know it, Mister!" Jess said, leaning up to kiss him. "Oh, and Nick?

"Yeah, Jess?"

"I love you too."

Nick's smile was amazing, it always made Jess's heart melt.

"As much as I don't want to, I should probably head back to the loft, I promised Schmidt I'd help him with stuff for the party tonight. But…" He said once again wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her tightly into his warm delicious body before kissing her deeply, leaving her breathless as always.

"I will see you later."

****The next Chapter will be rated M! Because who doesn't love some good N&J Smut?! I know I do!****


	6. Chapter 6

**This Chapter is RATED M!**

This chapter is also much longer than the previous chapters and written slightly different to go along with the M Rated theme. ENJOY! :-)

Chapter Six

It had been three whole weeks since Jess and Nick had their talk at her apartment. They were back together and it was amazing. There was only one problem. Sex. They haven't had it since they've been back together, due to their very different work schedules and needy wedding planning best friends. When Jess was getting out of work, Nick was leaving for work and when he was getting out, Jess was already fast asleep so she could be up for school in the morning. Nick had weekends off now that he was managing the bar, but Schmidt being the groomzilla that he was, had nick on call almost 24/7 for Best Man duties and he took full advantage of that and to be fair, CeCe had done her fair share of taking up a lot of Jess's time as well. Sure there had been some pretty hot and heavy make out-no tops sessions and some hand stuff, but neither of them had reached " _completion"_ as Jess would say, because of the almost constant interruptions. Needless to say, it was frustrating, _very frustrating._

So that is why, for the first time since he started working at the bar, Nick had decided to take a Friday night off. Jess had given him a key to her apartment the day after they had their talk, telling him that she never wanted to spend another night away from him again and although he had spent every night for the past 3 weeks sleeping in her bed with her, she was already asleep by the time he crept in, only waking up for a couple minutes to give him one of her oh-so-sweet goodnight kisses and to tell him how much she loves him and misses him, and as much as he lives for those sweet, sleepy moments… He just wants to spend time with her, talking and laughing, kissing and… well, other more… _naked_ things.

It was 6pm when Jess finally arrived home from work, it was now almost 7 and she was freshly showered with her hair and makeup all done, she just needed to find the perfect dress. It was Friday night and she knew Nick had to work as he did every other Friday, but she missed him and she was going to spend time with him tonight, even if she did have to deal with a bunch of drunk college students.

Jess dropped her robe leaving her naked, she grabbed her favorite body lotion, it smelled sweet and had added shimmer to add glow to her pale skin. As she started spreading it over her arms and shoulders, she inhaled the scent happily, knowing how much Nick loved it. He would kiss her neck and whisper how _amazing_ she smelled all husky and just downright _sexy_. She started to feel a surge of warmth in her core and let her mind wander to more thoughts of Nick. How it would feel it if were his big, warm hands rubbing it into her skin rather than her small hands. As she let her hands glide over her breasts, she began to imagine it was Nick's hands, slowly caressing her firm round breasts, squeezing her nipples gently. She let one of her hands slide down her stomach right into her smooth slit, touching herself she realizes just how aroused she is thinking about Nick and decides to indulge. She lays down on top of her made bed and lets her left hand go back to gently massaging her breasts and nipples, while her right slides back down into her now, incredibly wet slit, all the while imagining it is Nick's amazing hands touching her.

Nick quietly enters Jess's apartment, slipping his shoes off right next to the door. He hadn't told Jess about having tonight off because he wanted to surprise her, so she doesn't expect him back until much later. He notices a light on at the end of the hallway and knows she must be in her room, so he quietly heads down the hallway until he hears a noise that stops him dead in his tracks. " _Is that…? A moan? Oh my god, it is! Is Jess cheating on me? What, no… she wouldn't, but…"_ Nick is internally freaking out, would Jess really cheat on him? Why is she moaning if she's not… Oh… OH!

Nick hears her moan louder this time and his eyes go wide. " _Jess is masturbating, oh my god, my incredibly sexy girlfriend is laying on her bed, touching herself… MY girlfriend. Wait, why the hell am I still standing here?!"_

Nick reaches her open door and see's her, his amazing, sexy, sweet girlfriend and did he say sexy? Because _holy fucking shit!_ This is the hottest thing he's ever seen. Right in front of him is Jessica Day, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, completely naked, laying on her bed, face flushed with arousal, with one hand on her breast, gently pinching her nipple and the other between her widely spread legs rubbing her pussy, panting and moaning his name like she can't get enough. " _Wait… What? She's moaning my name. Again, why the fuck am I just standing here?!"_

Before entering the bedroom, Nick decides to level the playing field a bit and gets undressed faster than he ever has in his entire life. He slowly approaches her, not wanting to freak her out. As he reaches the bed he starts to slowly stroke himself, he pretty sure he's never been this hard, _ever._ He slowly lets his hand run up her thigh, while still stroking with his right hand, feeling her flinch under his touch. Her eyes pop open in shock and her face flushes with embarrassment, she quickly sits up and grabs one of the pillows off her bed, hitting him with it.

"NICK! What are you doing here?!"

He can't help but chuckle at her giant eyes and messy hair. He cups her cheek and kisses her deeply, feeling her smile against him. Breaking the kiss he keeps his forehead against hers.

"I wanted to surprise you, Jess. I took tonight off so we could finally spend some alone time together, I didn't mean to interrupt, but well…" He looked deeply into her eyes before kissing her breathless again. " _That_ was by the far, THE sexiest thing I have ever seen."

Jess blushes brightly before pulling out her comforter to cover her naked body and bury her face in it.

"Oh my GOD! I am so embarrassed. I cannot believe you saw me doing… that. OH GOD!"

Nick wraps his arms around her, still laughing at her reaction. "Jess, Honey… You have nothing to be ashamed of. We haven't had any alone time since we've been back together and…" Jess finally pulls the blanket down from over her face and smiles at him sweetly. "I know I've gotten you pretty hot and bothered a few times before we were so rudely interrupted." He wiggles his eyebrows, Jess laughs and hits him in the arm.

Jess leans in towards him slowly, letting the blanket fall exposing her naked breasts, not missing the way Nick's eyes dip down, taking a quick peek before meeting her intense gaze again. She reaches his lips and gives him a long lingering kiss before whispering against his lips. "I couldn't help myself, Nick. It's been two years and the thought of your hands on me… it just got me so excited." She kisses him again. "So, you liked what you saw, Huh?" She felt him nod against her, they both smiled before devouring each other's lips once more.

Nick grabbed the comforter, roughly ripping it away before placing his hands on Jess's hips pulling her down on the bed so he can cover her body with his own. Lying on top of her, he places his erection between her legs, slowly rotating his hips but feeling little relief from the now throbbing hardness he's sporting. He wants to make this last, though. It's been 2 years since him and Jess have slept together and he wants to give her the best night of her life.

With that thought in mind, Nick slowly starts to kiss down her neck, licking and gently biting as he goes, her breathy whimpers driving him wild with arousal.

"God, Jess… I've missed you so much." He whispers against her neck while letting his hands roam over her bare body, making sure to stay away from the spots that he _knows_ are aching for his touch. He wants to hear her moan, scream, beg for release. He kisses his way down to her small perky breasts, licking and nipping his way around them, but avoiding her hard nipples. He can feel her squirm underneath him and he loves it, he loves when she gets impatient, he knows that's when he can make her come the hardest and that's exactly what he wants.

"Uh, Nick! Stop teasing me. I want you so much, it's been so long… Just GIVE IT TO ME already!"

Jess feels him smile against the soft skin of her right breast, before finally taking her nipple into his mouth, softly sucking and biting making her cry out in pleasure before moving over to her left breast to give it the same amazing attention. " _God, that mouth and the things it can do. I almost forgot… Yeah right, like I could ever forget… OH GOD!"_

"FUCK, NICK! Uhh!"

She looks down at the top of Nick's head that is now between her legs, she buries her fingers in his soft brown mop and moans loudly as his tongue starts expertly swirling around her clit before lightly sucking in a way that only he ever could, he runs his right hand slowly up her thigh before gently sliding two fingers deep inside of her, making her hips buck against his face. The feel of his tongue on her clit, his fingers buried deep inside of her and his sexy stubble scratching her soft thighs was all she could take.

"Uh, UH! Oh, Niiick!"

Jess's whole body shakes with her intense orgasm, so much in fact, that she feels Nick's big hands holding down her hips to keep her in place, making sure he can keep his tongue right where she wants it throughout her climax. No one else had ever or could ever make her feel the way Nick Miller could. He knew her body so well and he knew exactly what to do to make her completely lose control and she loved it, _she loved him._

Nick slowly kissed his way back up her body, stopping once again at each breast to say hello, before moving back to her neck which was always a little touchy after her climax, making her giggle. He lifted his head to look at her and he felt his heart swell. Her hair was a mess and her skin was beautifully flushed with a light sheen of sweat covering it, she had a giant satisfied smile on her face and her eyes are twinkling like the ocean on a sunny day. He pushed her bangs to the side and leaned up to kiss her forehead, her nose, her cheeks and then finally her lips. "You really are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Jessica." Her smile was huge and bright and Nick knew his matched.

"Aww, You're so sweet Nicholas!" She leaned up and kissed him sweetly and when she opened her eyes he saw the storm brewing. "But, I do believe…" She said as she pushed him on his back before straddling him and attacking his neck with bites and kisses. She lifts her head, kissing him deeply. "That it's your turn." She whispered against his lips before reaching down and grabbing his hard 8 inches, stroking slowly up and down, making him groan loudly into her mouth.

She sat up and lined his hard member up with her hot, wet center, taking him inside her, inch by delicious inch. He really was the perfect size, length and width wise, no one had _EVER_ felt better than him. Not only did he have the size, but _my god_ , did he know how to use it. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly as she started riding him, letting the pleasure take over before opening them to find Nick already looking up at her, slightly panting with his mouth hanging open. She felt his hands gently squeeze her ass before sliding up her sides to cup her breasts. He ran his thumbs over her hardened nipples causing her to throw her head back, moaning loudly.

She placed her hands over his and squeezed, causing him to buck his hips up into her.

"Uh, Nick… You feel so good inside me. So perfect, So… OH GOD!"

Nick grabbed onto her hips and flipped her over so he was now on top, he pounded into her, _hard._ "You like that, Jess? Does my cock feel good inside you, sweetheart?" He panted into her ear before biting her earlobe.

"Yes, Nick, YES!"

Nick continued to pound into her with everything he had, making Jess scream out in pure ecstasy. He could feel that she was on the edge and he wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to hold off, because _fuck._ It's been two years since he's had her underneath him like this, naked and screaming his name. Suddenly he feels her hands on his chest, pushing him away. He's confused and irritated until he meets her eyes, she smiling and biting her lip seductively.

She pushes him off of her and slowly stands up from the bed, walking away from him. He barely notices her looking at him over her shoulder because his eyes are so fully focused on her perfect heart shaped ass swaying in front of him.

"Jess, What…"

His eyes go wide as he sees her stop at her desk, bending over slightly. She's still looking at him over her shoulder, her eyes are full of desire and mischief and Nick almost can't take it.

"I want you to take me, Nicholas. Treat me like the bad girl I am." Nick's eyes go wide and Jess has to contain her laughter, she's not usually so forward in the bedroom, but it's been a long time and tonight she's feeling… naughty. She bats her eyelashes at him and bites her bottom lip.

"Jesus, Jessica!" Nick almost slips on her hardwood floors on his way over to her. He's never moved so fast in his life. He grabs her hips and presses himself into her ass, not penetrating her just yet. He takes a handful of her hair and tugs gently before bringing his lips down to her ear. "You want it rough, don't you _Jessica."_ He slaps her ass with his free hand, making her whimper.

"God Nick, yes! I want you to fuck me Nicholas, I want it hard and fast. Please Nicholas!"

And that's what does it, Nick bends her over a little more before placing his hands firmly on her hips and plunging himself into her hot, tight pussy. They are both moaning loudly and the desk is banging up against the wall as Nick pounds into her, but they are both so out of their minds with pleasure that they don't even care about the neighbor pounding on the wall yelling at them to " _SHUT THE HELL UP"!_

"Nick, I'm so close! Don't stop… Fuck!

Nick reaches a hand down to rub her clit as he keeps up his brisk pace, he feels her walls clench around him, hearing her cry out his name as she leans back against him and digs her nails into his ass behind him, he finally lets himself go, releasing his hot seed inside of her, making her whimper and shake against his bare chest.

Nick drops his head to her shoulder and kisses the skin there before burying his face in her coconut scented hair. "Damn, That was wild woman!" They both laugh and Jess turns in his arms, smiling up at him before leaning up to kiss him.

"That it was, Mister!" Jess places a kiss on his hairy chest before she lays her head against him, loving the way the soft hair feels on her face. She feels him wrap his arms around her tightly before kissing the top of her head, making her smile. Suddenly she feels his arms unravel themselves from her body as he steps back, she frowns in confusion until she feels his arms wrap around her thighs so he can pick her up, he carries her over to her bed and gently lays her down before covering her with the comforter and crawling in next to her, pulling her into her chest once more.

She lifts her head to look at him, his deep brown eyes, so full of love for her and a lazy smile across his face. She can't help but run her hand across his stubbly jaw and kiss him sweetly. _God he's adorable._ "I've missed you so much, Nick. I've really loved having you with me when I wake up in the morning so I can see you before I leave, but I feel like I haven't really _seen_ you, yah know?"

She looks so sad and it breaks Nick's heart. He gently cups her cheek and looks deeply into her eyes. "I know, Honey. I'm so sorry, I've really tried to get away from the bar and Schmidt The _Groomzilla_ , but it's hard. Now that I'm manager, I have a lot more responsibilities. And Schmidt, well… I don't think I have to explain that one." They both laugh, because yes, she does understand. "BUT, I do have so good news!"

Jess laid her head back on the pillow as Nick brough himself up on his elbow, leaning over her, bringing his hand down to cup her jaw, caressing her soft cheek with his thumb. "I told Schmidt I wasn't going to be around to help him this weekend, because I need to spend time with my beautiful girlfriend, so that means I'm yours for the whole weekend. If you'll have me, of course." Nick gave her that lopsided smile that made her heart melt in her chest.

She brought her finger up to her lip "Hmm… I don't know, Nick. I'm pretty busy, you see I have to wash my hair and I have this new Ice Cream maker that I need to try out and…"

Nick dove under the blankets tickling her mercilessly, making her squeal and flail around. He finally stopped after he almost got a foot to the junk.

"Jessica! Careful, those are my precious goods!"

"Hah! Your fault Miller! I cannot be blamed for any injuries I may cause while being tickled!"

They were both laughing so hard their sides hurt. Once the laughter died down, Nick looked down at her, looking more beautiful and happy than he had seen her in so long. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to be here with her again, to be able to call her his.

"Jess, there's something I want to say…"

Jess looks up at him, he looks serious and he won't look her in the eyes. She places her hands on his cheeks and forces him to look at her. "What is it, Nick? You can tell me anything, you know that."

The concerned look in her eyes makes his chest feel tight. "Jess, I just want you to know that I really am so sorry about everything. All the stupid stuff I've done over the past two years was just me trying to deal with losing you. I never meant to do anything that would hurt you because that is something I never want to do. I love you so much, Jess and yeah… I just wanted to say that."

"I love you too, Nick." She leans up to kiss him before dropping her head back down,

keeping her hands on his cheeks. "There's actually something I want to ask you, Nick. And… I won't be offended if you say no, I know it's still early and this is probably going to sound crazy,but heh, that's me, crazy Jess.." Nick shut her up by placing his lips over hers in a searing kiss, before pulling back to look into her eyes. He couldn't help but chuckle at her rambling, _god he loved her_.

"What is it, Jess? I'm sure it's no crazier than half the stuff I've said."

They both laughed chuckled, Nick did have some crazy ideas sometimes. But that was one of this things that Jess adored about him.

"Ok, um… and like I said, feel free to say no…"

"JESSICA!"

"OK, SORRY! I just wanted to ask you, if um… Well, If you would be interested in possibly… Moving in with me? I know it's soon, I mean we've only been back together for 3 weeks, but I just miss you so much when you're not here and if you lived here with me then…"

Nick didn't let her finish before pushing her back on the bed and covering her body with his, kissing her passionately before pulling away and looking deeply into her eyes. "Jessica…" He leaned down to kiss her right cheek "Nothing on this earth…" He kissed her left cheek… "Would make me happier.." He kissed her nose… "Than to move in with you!" He kissed her breathless before lifting his head, he had the biggest smile she had ever seen on his stupid handsome face. Jess squealed in delight, making Nick laugh heartily.

"REALLY?! You will?" She looked up at him with tears of happiness in her eyes. "YES, Jessica. I will!" She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her, kissing him deeply before wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. He pulled away, leaving them both breathing heavily.

"I love you so much, Nick."

"I love you too, Jess."

"Soo… Round Two?"

They both smiled widely at each other before falling into the full throes of passion once again.


End file.
